Alright, so shall we get this started. There are a few things that I'd like to point out. Hopefully you'll find them to be helpful.

The first thing that I noticed when I saw this deviation, is that her body is drawn slanted. It seems like she is leaning to the right (our left) however, her balance is not shifted. Like, she's not putting weight into her hips and knees. To avoid drawing characters at an angle, try holding your paper as straight as possible. I remember I used to draw characters slanted, and that was because I was holding my drawing paper like I was writing, and once I corrected how the paper was on the table, the characters weren't as slanted looking.

The next biggest thing that I notice is the colors. A lot of them are in the same family, and it's making it a little bit difficult for me to determine exactly where the character is. She doesn't pop out, instead she is blending in with the background. Instead of coloring your character and the background the same, try coloring the character darker, and the background lighter, especially if you are going to use similar colors. This way, the viewers eyes will automatically find the character right away.

Now for the character on the bottom. Larharl, was it? It looks is if she's not standing on anything. It looks like she's floating in the air, or being held up by the bow. It's a little bit confusing, and I think that signifying that would help this image.

The colors themselves are good, though it looks like you were pressing down hard with your color pencils. Thus you can tell where each line ends, and its a little bit distracting. Try coloring lightly first with your color pencils, and if you are using two colors, try blending them together. You can use your finger, if you don't mind getting it a little dirty, or purchase a kneaded eraser. Both work really well. If you don't press down too hard with your color pencils, you'll notice that less lines will appear. Also, another good way to have the background colors go together, is to take it slowly. There's really no reason to rush coloring a picture, so just take your time. Instead of coloring a background in say five minutes, slow down and take maybe ten or fifteen, just taking time will make a huge difference. Usually the faster you go, the sloppier it'll be, hence the saying "haste makes waste".

You're still very young, and you're doing very well. Just keep drawing and you'll improve with time. Also using this critique system will hopefully be a huge help. Just keep doing what you're doing.

I really like the castle in the background of this, and all of its detail! The sock looks great, and are really eyecatching, as is the dollything! The hair looks nice, but it needs more detail, and possibly some more shading on the entire picture would improve it. The wings are adorable, and such a happy expression. The expression is very cute, on both the full size figure and the smaller one, but the colouring could do with being slightly more even. You might also want to focus on including a major lightsource? But I really like the shading on the clouds. I like the ribbons and the detail on the outfit, and Rin makes an extremely cute overlord!